11 Followers 21 Following 56 Posts
11 Followers 21 Following 56 Posts
...I don't even know what to post about. I guess, I can say i seen my older sister. Was nice seeing her again. Though she pissed me off. She bought me a coffee, tea and doughnuts 😑. But, she remembered my favorite coffee and tea! Sweet delicious honey tea with lemon. And a just sweet enough to send shivers up the spine coffee. She bought her favorite doughnuts for us to share 😅. It was very nice to see her, giant pain in my ass. She needs to visit my dumbass more 😂😂
I want to type something, but... Idk
Was happy-ish yesterday. But today I feel depressed...more than i should be actually ... But whatever. Idc...I'll just go through the day like normal...I hope
So, my friend asked me if I knew just how much he cared about me. He got mad because I put myself down I told him, "No one should care about me, because of what I've done in the past. I'm a monster that doesn't deserve love, or even to be noticed Yet I try to care for others When I could die today and I wouldn't care about what I left behind, because what I'd leave behind. Is maybe four friends and some family. My family knows I don't ask to be noticed, or acknowledged Because i don't want to be Everything i have done is horrible So no I don't know how much you care about me because I've never cared about myself to notice if someone cares" Right after I said that I seen his dad, mom, and older sister looking at me. They all told me "We know you have made mistakes. And we know why you say your a monster. But don't, your a amazing person and we treat you like family, we don't care if you don't care about yourself. Be we care about you deeply and will be here for you even when you try to push us all away" Charlie, my friends dad is the most stubborn person ever and has never cried But as he told me, that hearing me call myself a monster, he cried. He told me. He see's me as a son. To hear those words, to hear that family say they love and care about me after all the fucked up shit I've done, I broke down. To hear someone after so long of being called a monster and scum. Call me their hero because, I stay with that family through thick and thin. Knowing that man is a goddamn marine That hit hard. And just to hear them all tell me they will always care about me no matter what. They are just amazing, and they hold a very powerful spot in my heart.
😅 guess I got a but longer on here. So, yeah. I went for a walk today. My fat ass had to run I seen my ex and yeah, I fucking hate her. She made everyone in my town believe I was fucking her 🤢🤢🤢🤢. She said hey. I said fuck you and ran to my house and locked all my doors and blocked the windows But besides that, i might have a job!! Good paying and easy 😂😂
...tomorrow, I'll be away for a while. I'll be back though, and when i get back. I'm throwing a party 😊.
I...honestly have nothing to say today, no poem, no singing, no nothing...just, im emotionless today... Don't really talk to anyone anymore All I do is exercise, sleep, eat 1 meal a day. Watch a bit of jacksepticeye Than I look at old photos...shouldn't. But I do
A couple days left... So here. Poem #2 Close Deep in sleep He dreams of them Deep in sleep He cries for what has happened He may wake up Only in tears From a dream that he wishes was real Tears that are real Blood more so Scars across his body Remind him he's alive Scars on his body Take away the pain In his heart Waking up Is a curse When you feel so close To that person In a dream So close to hold So close to feel So close it hurts Close to love
Here's a poem. I have four days before I go. So. Enjoy Love We sleep And dream Of what is there To wake To a face We love and care Speak these words To hold and love To take ones heart And shelter from the cold Love is there And you still care Love is free Your my rose I'm your thorns Love sleeps When we are apart Held in these arms You sleep so sound In these hands A heart that's bound Love speaks full The past seeks this What we hold Love is true Like mine for you
...well, in a week I'll be offline for a while. So I'll be posting poems till than. 😊
I know you can't read this, and I'd rather not try speaking to the heavens for you to hear. But um, victor it's been almost 14 years now since you've been gone. It's been rough, wish you were here. You'd know how to cheer me up. Maybe icecream? Remember those days? We would walk down the road to that Icecream shop, and you'd tell me. Get the BIGGEST Icecream there. We would get the same size, and lose half on the way back. I miss those days, when I couldn't feel depressed because I had someone to look up to. You know I treated you like a big brother right? I hope you know I looked up to you. I wish things could have gone a different way than they did. You know I don't believe in God, but. I hope your up there, watching over us all, and I hope your safe up there. Miss you bud.
Looks like I'm, going to be away for a while So before I go,. Remember these 5 things 1. Your perfect the way u are 2. No matter what don't give up 3. Love with all your heart 4. Don't give up on someone u love 5. Smile everyday. It'll make the day go by faster
...I want to sing In a video, to send to someone in my family who I care very much about (his bday tomorrow ). But, my voice sucks 😂.
5 hour course complete. Next is my driving test 😧😧😧😧. Prob gon fail
Broken Written by: me 😁 As I lay here Watching old movies Listening to old songs That we listened to The pain never goes away I still love you I broke your trust I broke your love Broke the one I love Day by day I feel broken Day by day I feel alone Calls that happened every night Slowly fade But I make them stay Broken Why was it that way I ask everyday Broken And beaten I like and say I'm ok But really I miss you Day by day It hurts to know I lost the man I always loved Day by day Broken I'm regretting everything I've done I regret what I've done For everything that was Is broken
WARNING: SAD/DEMENTED POEM DO NOT READ IF YOU ARE SENSITIVE TO SUICIDE As she cries herself to sleep In a class full of people and eyes to see Her heart is broken And her body weakened She cries blood So everyone is looking Her father now gone She needed to be strong But how can she when All that she loved Is gone She speaks that he's in her heart and memories But flesh and bone is what she wishes he could be At home she cuts and burns her skin Bringing pain Away from her heart Her mother to drunk to stop her Her brother abusive Watches her harm "Father free me Break this house apart Help me smile Before I depart" The house she lived in Faded now As the mother and brother Of the girl Look at her face Like a porcelain doll So beautiful and so free Her smile so big A tear of blood One last to be For she is finally At peace
...is this...real?...What I woke up to?...or is my phone...messing with me